Run, Run, Sweet Road Runner

I was just eight years old when my city completely changed for me and showed me one of her ugly sides.Those were the days when Bombay was burning.I was in school then and in the middle of our class,the Principal of my school made an announcement on the mic that the current period would be the last and we had to leave for home after that.On listening to the news all of us erupted in joy, little did we know then what was happening around the city. Our teacher told us that there was a bomb blast in the city hence we were leaving the school early.I could sense something eerie in the air as I was returning home.

Thereafter for over a month the school was closed.

Apparently there were a series of  bomb blasts in the city on that day, the cycle of vengeance had started.The bomb blasts were an answer to Babri Masjid demolition which had taken place a month earlier in Northen India.

The crazy rumors people in my building were discussing were laughable, one such was that Pakistan is sending people with swords in ships and they will reach Bombay in a few days.One sad incident which appalled me was friend of mine making petrol bombs under the supervision of his parents.

Curfews were imposed during the days but one day I saw a gang of people raiding a shop owned by a Muslim gentleman from my window.

I was never much aware about different ideologies each religion had,I did have friends who were muslims, catholics and parsis but we never questioned each other why we had different kind of names or why we were different. But this school break did make us realise the difference.

As time passed by the rioting had slowed down and the school break which was for over a month long now felt like eternity. For a change I was looking forward to go back to school. The 

school did resume in January and one of our classmates called Nadeem didn't make it the first day.His mother had come weeping into the class to tell the teacher that their home was burned down during the riots and how they had barely survived, Nadeem was fine but will not be able to make it to school for a few days and she left.

After sometime after that one of my class mates tells us the class that once Nadeem comes back we need to beat him up.

This conversation somehow reached my teacher and I remember my teacher with tears in her eyes saying to my classmate "I will myself handover him to you".

At that time I didn't realise why there were tears in her eyes.

I think my teacher would have felt like Atticus would say to Jem "There's a lot of ugly things in this world, Son. I wish I could keep them away from you. That's never possible"

                                      

Fastest with the Mostest

‘Yaar what is happening to our country, now we are going down on all the Human Development index parameters. Look at this now even our Sex ratio is one of the worst in the world’ said Sanjay in a worrying tone,who was recently transferred to Delhi from Bombay and was quite fascinated by the city and it people.

Vikram proudly stated ”Dost pure desh ka pata nahin par Delhi  must be definitely leading.Likh le it should be cent per cent".

Sanjay said’What?, How is it possible, the last time I saw it was 866:1000.

Vikram tried to reason “Oye nahin yaar we Delhite's are healthy people ,it must be 1000:1000,mere hi teen bache hai yaar “ and he screamed across to another office colleague “Oye Bhallsaab aapke kitne bache hai'.

Bhalla shouted back “Sirji two daughter's both are girls”..Vikram glanced back to Sanjay and gave a I-am-smarter-than-you smile.

A startled Sanjay couldn’t believe what he was listening and said ‘Boss I think you didn’t understand, by sex ratio I mean the number of  Females to Males and not the number of times you have Sex.

Vikram shot back “Then why do you call it a Sax ratio, why not just Buoy to Girl ratio".

Taking a deep breath Sanjay tried to get the answer by questioning ”What is your sex?”

“Four times a week” zapped Vikram, realizing what he said he was embarrassed and quickly added ”Bhai tu personal questions kyun puch raha hai”.

Sanjay on the verge of losing his patience,took a deep breath again“Yaar main puch raha hoon whether you are a Man or a woman,and you are telling me the number of times you do it in a week,Hadh kar di yaar”.

Vikram shot back”kya baat kar rah hai yaar, ofcourse I am a Man”

Sanjay”So now that is your sex”.

Vikram still embarrassed “toh aise baat kar nah, itna ghumaaney ki kya zaroorat thi, tum Bombaywalley kabhi kisi point pey directly aatey hi nahin ho”.

Sanjay adding salt to the wound ‘Sirji, every kid in school knows what sex ratio means' .

“ok ok ab itna gyaan jhaadney ki zarorat nahi hai the other day I asked you how you reached office".

‘Yes I remember that and I clearly said I came by a rickshaw’

Now making a great scene in the office, Vikram made this as a news item“ listen to this Mr Sanjay travels Dilli in Rickshaw.”

A roar of laughter from the office colleagues came back like sonar waves, embarrassing Sanjay who said

tried to repair the situation ‘Haan toh usmein kya harz hai’.

‘Sirji the cycle rickshaws are called rickshaws here,Auto rickshaws are called Auto’.

‘Oh, so now I understand,why the Rickshaw guy, I mean the Auto guy was giving me condescending looks, every time I referred to his auto as rickshaw’.

Now Sanjay trying to change the conversation 

‘But you know what you Delhi wallah's bhu kuch kam nahi hai,the other day I inquired with  my landlady,Mrs Malik about her husband’s health and guess what she tells me.’.

‘Unko nah Heart  aur Liver dono hai.’

‘I broke into a laughter , she didn’t understand for what I was laughing at but we continued chatting. Well on further probing I realized that she was talking about her Husband’s heart & liver ailment.’.

“So what yaar,this is our culture we don’t like to be negative,hence we don't use the word 'Problem'.”

‘Yes I agree,you guys are extremely positive.'

Sanjay now fed up  and realizing he had digressed ‘Yaar Vikram baat kaha se kaha pohoch gayee,we were talking about the dwindling sex ratio of the country,what could be the solution yaar.’

“Sax yaar,its simple,you have more Sax and produce more kids,usmein kuch ladke honge aur kuch ladkiyan”

“Aur population ka kya?"

“Yaar decide karle,what are you more troubled with Papulation are (or) Sax ratio.”

“Currently its your Brain,which is troubljng me.And I think aapko Brain hai."